Integritus Prime

It’s atrocious to see how blatantly gender-based violence gets perpetrated, with victim blaming, shaming, and worse. Having worked with many victims and some perpetrators, I know the root cause is usually sexual abuse of young boys, who become perpetrators. Gender-based violence is ahorrifying intergenerational plague that is still very much alive and well. Add to that the toxic patriarchy, rape culture, and much more. It is still a battle to be a woman.

The two latest cases I’ve been following are not so different from each other, despite being over 6,000 miles apart.

The first case concerns Blake Lively, the American actress who is suing “It Ends With Us” co-star, Justin Baldoni for sexual harassment. She has described an unsafe and hostile work environment, sexual harassment, and a smear campaign orchestrated through media people Baldoni hired. Having watched this movie when it came out, and written about it, I thought it was an important contribution to empowering women who face domestic violence. I’ve been appalled at Justin Baldoni’s actions, because not only is he a complete hypocrite and abuser, he had the gall to fake being a feminist by producing this film. His actions tarnish the message of the film and complicate it: a perpetrator acting in the role of a perpetrator, while pretending to promote women’s empowerment.

The second case involves Fiji’s member of parliament, Lynda Tabuya, who was just dismissed from her position as Minister for Women, Children and Social Protection for having her personal nude video circulated in social media. Ms. Tabuya’s video was circulated without her consent. It was a personal video. The perpetrators of this technology-facilitated gender-based violence (TFGBV) are yet to be brought to justice. Ms. Tabuya is being judged, shamed, and ridiculed on social media. She has lost her job, although will be allowed to remain in parliament. The patriarchy is so quick to blame and punish a woman, when she is the one who needs protection and justice.

In both of these cases, I have read articles that say that the victims aren’t typical. What is a typical victim supposed to be like? No one is perfect, and judging victims isn’t constructive. Victims need protection from more harm, and they need justice. What does it say about our societies if they blame women for being harmed? A good way to think about these situations is, what if the victim was your Mom or sister or daughter? How would you want them to be treated?

Here are some tips for how you can protect yourself from TFGBV.