Integritus Prime

I was recently coaching a dear client, and they mentioned to me their current predicament. It was about how to direct the course of their life. I mentioned that the highest self, the soul calling, destiny, requires complete trust and surrender. This process is not for the mind, but for the soul-infused heart.

Later, this client sent me a video by Caroline Myss, that contains her take on fate versus destiny. It was fascinating to watch, and I found many parallels between her advice and my life experience. The points of departure, however, are most interesting. In the table below, I’ve broken down her take, and mine, based on my Living and Leading Authentically Framework. Judge for yourself:

Stage Name	Caroline Myss	Stage Name	Alchemus Prime
Revolution	In the 1960s, the revolution against the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki centered around choice and creation of a new kind of life. Knowing what we didn’t want helped society on the way to what we wanted.	Self-Love (connect – element of air)	Cleaning the body, mind, and emotions of self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-sabotage. Learning about and loving the self unconditionally with scars intact. Building self-respect and self-confidence. Understanding your unshakeable worth as a divine being.
Involution	In the 1970s, involution happened – introspection or going within to think through things. In this powerful and vulnerable cocooning phase, we find seeds of who we might be on the path of redesigning ourselves by eliminating what we don’t want.	Empowerment   (transform – element of fire)	Discerning your trauma patterns, releasing limiting beliefs and old mindsets. Healing. Telling your story to become free of it. Becoming empowered in mind, emotions and body, based on a foundation of self-love.
Narcissism	We became self-centered and set boundaries to protect ourselves against naysayers. In the 1980s multitasking and the Internet. We became hybrid spiritualists who controlled our spiritual experiences – but didn’t surrender completely to the call. We instead became and still are stuck in a focusless space, preoccupied with only ourselves (fate). There is hardly any altruism.	True Self (create – element of water)	Stripping away conditioning and allowing the true self to emerge. Maintaining authenticity in all settings. Leading with your true self, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care and embodiment of purpose.
Evolution	There is a need to evolve past the narcissism and begin to not only hear the calling but submit to it completely. Myss gives the striking example of a nun who devoted 65 years to praying for others in a room (destiny) after giving up the imminent career as a successful artist.	Career Manifestation (sustain – element of earth)	Harmonizing values, talents, skills and calling to serve the planet and all forms of life in ways that are abundant, meaningful and purposeful. Integrating the true self and self-love into balanced service based on one’s destiny – what one was born to do.
Illumination or Mysticism	The final phase is when we become synced with timelessness and sacredness. We are fulfilled in our own soul, we do not need outside validation. We serve from the highest consciousness.

Myss calls it narcissism when we stand up for ourselves and set boundaries where we once engaged in people pleasing and other trauma patterns. I believe self-love is a stronger foundation, one we need not evolve out of because it forms a sustainable basis for all our transformation. While Myss says that we should stop telling our story and wallowing in our trauma, I believe that intentionally revisiting trauma to heal it and to liberate ourselves with an authentic narrative of what we suffered frees us from it. This inner healing is absolutely necessary for us to transcend and live a life of service.

She says we must submit fully to the call of destiny, AND hold on to the center of our beings – I cannot agree more.

Share with me your journey and reflections on fate, destiny, narcissism and self-love.