Integritus Prime

I’ve been reading recently about Internal Family Systems, a system of therapy also known as parts work. IFS was founded by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. Parts work is predicated on the concept that the mind naturally has various sub-personalities or parts that function simultaneously. The purpose of IFS is to help people recognize and work with their parts to heal. IFS also includes the concept of the core Self, who is calm, curious, and observing the parts when space is created in therapy.

What I like about parts work is the classifications of the general groups of parts, which manifest as roles we play, and which I can see clearly in myself and my clients:

1. EXILES are childhood or young parts of us that have experienced trauma and often become isolated from the rest of the system in an effort to protect the individual from feeling the pain, terror, fear, and so on. These parts can become extreme and desperate in an effort to be cared for and tell their story. They can leave the individual feeling fragile and vulnerable. The wounded inner child is usually a part of us that fits this category, as well as the criticized student or bullied teen. For me this was the child who was told to shut up when she wanted to ask a question or because someone thought she talked too much.
2. MANAGERS are the parts of us that run our day-to-day life and try to keep us in control of every situation and relationship to protect other parts from feeling any hurt or rejection. This can manifest as controlling, caretaking, manipulating, and other behaviors. My example is the people-pleaser – this is how I subconsciously tried to avoid harm.
3. FIREFIGHTERS are a group of parts that react in extreme ways when exiles are triggered and try to quash the emotions that result. This can happen through drug or alcohol use, self-harm (cutting), binge-eating, sex addiction, etc. My example was picking at my skin out of self-loathing – I was told that I was ugly, and I believed it for a long time.

When we look at ourselves using these categories of parts, it’s useful because we can start to see the patterns we are still bound in and the burdens we carry through these parts of us. For instance, if the manager parts of us are the most prevalent, we might be perfectionists or micromanagers at work, creating harmful situations. Healing these tendencies allow us to function in healthier ways.

Take a moment to self-evaluate and see which parts of you emerge. In the next post, I will explore 8 inherent qualities that can further help us situate and navigate our inner world – these are the characteristics of the Self.