Integritus Prime

I was reflecting recently on an experience I had several years ago. Having left a partnership in which I felt betrayed, I was looking for jobs. Six months, 60 applications, and several interviews later, I still didn’t have one.

It took a while for it to sink in: I wasn’t meant to be in a job. I was meant to build my own systems, structures, frameworks, and methods. I was meant to continue as an entrepreneur. I was afraid to fail, and afraid to not have a mentor. I was afraid of all the uncertainties surrounding me. But, at the end of the day, I needed to be alone and become my own authority, so I could know what I’m made of, and not compromise on my principles, ever.

It has been six years since then, and I’m about to celebrate eight years of my company, Alchemus Prime. I’ve noticed that I feel seen for who I am, and my work is being affirmed through invitations and referrals. I am being celebrated for not squashing myself into a narrow line of work, for not limiting myself to a job. I am so grateful that I faced my fears.

I watched a children’s animated film recently that really spoke to me, and to my Living and Leading Authentically Framework: Four Phases of Flourishing, which I will be presenting at Bioneers very soon.

The film, called My Fairy Troublemaker, is about a fairy called Violetta who thinks she’s a tooth fairy, but her adventures on Earth lead her to discover that she is, in fact, a flower fairy. Her special power doesn’t include manifesting a gift and disappearing with a tooth; it actually involves healing nature. And she goes through a process much like death and resurrection in a new form, in order to find her destiny.

I really resonated with this little film, and it confirmed three steps that Violetta and I had to go through to find and manifest our true destiny:

1. Feeling Stupid: To keep failing means to ask yourself if there’s something wrong with you. Are you just not cut out for simple things like getting a job or passing a test? Wrong – it means you are probably not putting your efforts into the right tasks. Try switching your focus, approach, and target.
2. Not Knowing What’s Next: To be faced with complete uncertainty requires two things: complete trust and complete surrender. You need to trust yourself, even as you are changing, trust the process, and trust the timing of your life. You must also surrender when you can’t see what’s next, and that can be disorienting to say the least. But diving into the unknown can give you the courage to see and navigate in new ways.
3. Changing Completely: I had to shed the past, including trauma, pain, fear, doubt, friends, family, and much more. In order to be the true self, whatever is masking your authenticity must fall away. What remains is who you really are, and from this being comes forth your true calling. The metamorphosis cannot be bypassed: it is an essential step to changing from who you thought you were, to who you really are.

These three steps are critical, but of course there are many others – check out my other blog posts for some of them. Also, I encourage you to watch the film, and to reflect on your own path. Destiny is a culmination of our daily mindsets and behaviors, and changing those is a non-trivial endeavor.