3 Steps to Loving Yourself
As I come close to finishing up my Belonging course, with amazing progress I can see in my students, I am pondering teaching my Self-Love course again. Self-love really is the foundation for healing ourselves. It’s because without it, we would simply fall back into the abyss of our trauma, and find it very difficult to climb back out.
In my experience, self-love requires many steps. It is a process. However, there are three key steps I want to share here for reflection:
- Practice non-judgment: It’s so easy to give in to the harsh self-talk – that inner critic that seems to always be present. Often, it is much harder to pause, observe, and refrain from judging ourselves. Mindfulness practices such as breathing with awareness can help us observe ourselves in the present moment. As we begin to notice how we are actually feeling, we create space. In that space, we can begin to build new habits, such as self-compassion.
- Practice self-compassion: We are often quick to dismiss our capabilities the minute we fail. We judge ourselves brutally and then proceed to expect ourselves to do better next time. This tendency doesn’t always help us achieve our goals, but it can help us feel worse about ourselves. To have self-compassion means to be kind to ourselves from day to day, and when we fail. It means to nurture and encourage instead of complain and blame.
- Practice persistence: Many times in the healing journey, as we battle with our demons, we may feel that it’s too difficult. We may want to give up. What we may not realize is that we are the most consistent companion we will ever have. No one will be with us longer than we will – for our entire lives. So, it’s important to be your own best friend and persist in the quest to heal and love yourself.
What are your cherished steps to building self-love – share them with me.
