3 Tips about Self-Care, Self-Respect, and Reciprocity
I’ve been reflecting lately on how we should deal with friends who no longer have time for us. Do you notice yourself reaching out, while they don’t? Do you feel you are intruding when you do reach out, because of the way they react? For me, I have little interest in the kind of lifestyle that includes being so busy that you have no time for your relationships.
Lately, in a conversation with a trusted person, I learned about the connection between reciprocity and self-respect. Basically, this person said to me, “You want to be careful about how you respect yourself, when you continue to give time and energy to people who cannot or do not reciprocate.” This gave me pause.
Upon reflection, I was reminded that giving our time and energy to people is a behavior that can and should be regulated by boundaries. When we continuously give without receiving, we become depleted. A strong and self-loving self-care practice should include boundaries for how much of our time and energy we give to others.
In addition, we should give our time and energy to those who have time and energy for us. Do you have friends who are there for you? Prioritize them! This will help you to steer clear of resentment, and feel more of a balance.
In summary, here are three tips to remember:
- Relationships are a two-way process: Giving your time and energy to others should be in balance with receiving time and energy from those people. In general, this should balance out so you’re not the only one keeping the relationship alive. Reciprocity is an indicator of a healthy relationship.
- Boundaries signal self-respect: When we give too much to some people, and they blow us off, we are disrespecting ourselves by continuing to give to them. Our self-respect, if healthy, would guide us to give less priority to such people, and to set healthy boundaries so that we are respected.
- Self-care needs to be our ally: With a robust self-care practice that values our physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing, we can navigate relationships toward balance. We can use tools such as meditation, reflection, therapy, exercise, and other healthy lifestyle practices. Our self-care practice signals how much we value ourselves.
What are your experiences with self-care, self-respect, and reciprocity? Share with me.
