Integritus Prime

Yes, spoiler alert, but the movie’s been out for a few weeks. I’ve been a fan of Harshvardhan Rane since Sanam Teri Kasam – a tear-jerking romance from 2016. Since then, he’s done some interesting roles, notably in Taish, Haseen Dilruba, and now, Tara vs Bilal. We watched the latter recently and I was impressed by many things, including the nonjudgmental take on some aspects of gay life (my favorite character by far was Ritz), tradition, religion, and mostly, the film’s treatment of patriarchy and trauma simply took the cake.

The story is about a man, Bilal Khan, who free rides off of his family’s hotel business, run by his mother. He lives with his mother, aunts, sisters, and grandmother. He is the only male in the family and feels obligated to stay with all these women. Bilal is reclusive and anti-marriage, preferring to hang with his queer friend, Jiggy.

He encounters Tara Kaul, a woman from India who is defrauded by her newly wedded husband, and is left in London with nothing. She happens to be staying in Bilal’s family hotel, which is where they meet, but their story unfolds a little later. I’ll let you watch the film (on Netflix), to follow the plot. But, I do want to share some thoughts on the way the film portrays patriarchy and trauma, because I really think it does a good job of it:

1. Pressure: In the film, Bilal’s dad crumbles under the pressure of trying to run the hotel and make it profitable. Instead of seeking help, he commits suicide. This shows how the toxic patriarchy we live in conditions men to bottle up stress and emotions, to be stoic, and to not ask for help. By contrast, his mother runs the hotel with support from her sisters, and these women have a strong and supportive bond.
2. PTSD: As it happened, Bilal, as a young boy, went to give his father keys, and ended up witnessing the suicide in the subway. This experience stayed with him in the form of post-traumatic stress, resulting in him being unable to use the subway. We learn about this when he forces himself to help Tara, who is being attacked by her fraudulent husband in the subway. He has to override his fear. Unless we deal with trauma, it will hold us back…and this was one illustration of this fact.
3. Paralysis: Bilal doesn’t work for a living, despite his training as a lawyer. He hasn’t attempted to pass the bar, and spends his time out on his motorcycle or drinking with his buddy Jiggy. He is unable to function as an adult because he hasn’t processed the death of his father. Bilal’s character illustrates how difficult it is to move forward in life when we are stuck in the pain of the past.
4. Escape: When he finally breaks down and cries, Bilal admits that being out on his motorcycle allows him to be in the moment, affording him an escape from the memory of seeing his father commit suicide. He admits to the need to escape this pain. But finally, by crying and admitting his pain, he is allowing himself to feel the pain, which is the only path to be free of it.
5. Avoidance: Bilal runs away from marriage, insisting it’s not for him. He eventually realizes he does not want to form any attachments because he is afraid to lose anyone else and avoiding romantic entanglements might be the best way to do it. When he finally allows himself to open up and feel, he communicates from the heart, and this changes him, shifting him toward more authenticity.

Against the backdrop of modern London, Tara vs Bilal presents these themes in a mature and compelling way. It is clear that the way society is structured makes men hide their emotions inside, which results in dangerous and irreversible consequences, including suicide. Women, on the other hand, are portrayed as connectors, communicators, and resilient agents of compassion, which rings true from where I stand. Of course, there are always exceptions: women who bottle up everything, and men who are communicative and compassionate. The trick is to integrate and balance one’s own masculine and feminine energies to be a balanced individual. And, that is difficult to do when we are facing trauma, grief, and fear, as Bilal’s character clearly illustrates.