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Do Patti is an interesting tale of twins. Spoiler alerts start now, so don’t read if you haven’t watched this Netflix flick. It’s a story about a sickly twin, named Saumya and a confident twin named Shailee, both played very well by Kriti Sanon. Both their love interest, and eventually Saumya’s husband, Druv, is played impressively by TV actor Shaheer Sheikh.

The girls grow up with intense sibling rivalry, with Shailee always receiving less attention because Saumya is unwell and needing more care. We don’t learn why Saumya is unwell so much, until much later. Things are made worse when the twins lose their mother, and Shailee is sent away to boarding school.

Fast forward to the present day, and Saumya, despite being afraid of heights, goes paragliding with Dhruv, who runs the paragliding service. He seems to be a rich spoilt brat, and she is a delicate and fearful young woman, but against all odds, sparks fly. Shailee makes a sexy re-entry and seduces Dhruv, but ultimately he chooses Saumya because his father convinces him he needs a stable partner.

That’s when the trouble begins, and we learn that Dhruv is a violent man with massive anger issues. Kajol plays the local overqualified under-promoted cop, VJ, who has a law degree but because of her integrity, is given menial work. She learns about the domestic violence and begins to encourage Saumya to report Dhruv. Saumya refuses, receives beating after beating, and wants to have a baby with her abuser, even defending him at the police station. VJ continues to be frustrated and her character is interesting but mostly Kajol is wasted in this film until the very end – Kriti and Shaheer steer the action commendably.

A pivotal event occurs that calls into question everything that the viewer has seen so far – and there is a twist in the story. I’ll let you watch the film instead of spoiling it here. What I will analyze are five common lessons we can learn about domestic abuse from Dhruv and Saumya’s relationship:

1. Abusers can be charming: men who hit women usually embody the classic “bad boy” charm. Shaheer Sheikh’s character, Dhruv, fits this profile. His entry is on a motorcycle with the black leather jacket, stereotypical cigarette, and of course, RayBans. Alarm bells should be ringing, but usually women swoon.
2. Abusers blame you for their abuse: After throwing his wife down the stairs, Dhruv blames her for provoking him by talking about having a baby, which he doesn’t want. This is a classic form of mental abuse, that confuses and further degrades the victim, with attempts to convince her that she’s to blame. Clearly, in no way is physical abuse ever acceptable when your partner brings up a subject you don’t like.
3. Abusers have no compassion: Dhruv has no compassion for anyone, least of all his wife. He has other victims in another city too, as we learn in the course of the film due to VJ’s investigations. He is violently abusive physically, causing massive injuries to his victims.
4. Abusers frame abuse as part of love: Dhruv ensures he is loving toward his wife occasionally so she continues to believe in their relationship. Later in the story, we learn that wife has mental illness, from the trauma of witnessing her father physically abuse her mother. This may help explain why she keeps wanting to conceive a child with her abusive husband.
5. You can’t change them: A lot of victims stay with their abusive partners, for many reasons. These reasons include believing they can change them, wanting to change them, thinking things will improve with a child, or believing they are worthless and deserve this punishment – due to the mental abuse.

Domestic violence is rampant, and the Pacific is no exception. Empowering women to understand their worth, put themselves first, and report domestic violence is a critical step. Another essential need is to ensure the typically patriarchal police and court systems are well versed in gender equality so that justice can truly be served. Share with me your thoughts on domestic violence.