Integritus Prime

As I process the profound impact of Fiji’s first ever Loloma Tantra Festival, and reflect on the workshop I just taught on wellness, destiny, and empowerment for an award-winning nonprofit, FRIEND, I feel grateful. The work I do uplifts, heals, and restores me, rewarding me with the transformation I see within and around me. My work also brings perspective and empowerment to clients. I live for that moment when a person starts to reframe their victimhood or trauma, and become empowered. I thrive when I’m surrounded by people who are doing their inner work, because nothing else can change their outer destiny more effectively.

It takes a lot of work to become the master of your destiny, and a lot of that work entails transformation, as I discussed in last week’s post. However, there are some smart strategies that can get us there solidly. Here are five of them:

1. Balance your inner masculine and feminine energies – Most of us are wounded in one or both of these aspects due to trauma and need to bring ourselves into a balance between being passive and assertive, soft and hard, logical and intuitive. My book on trauma has some exercises that help with healing the trauma and restoring balance.
2. Tune into your heart wisdom for goal-setting – The heart is our true decision-maker, no matter how much the mind masquerades as commander-in-chief. I have found Heartfulness meditation to be a powerful method for cultivating the heart’s harmonious decision-making power. Set goals based on your heart and achieve them based on your habits. Ask me how!
3. Hone your boundary-setting and communication skills – There’s no use in focusing on mastering your destiny if you can’t set healthy boundaries and communicate them clearly. It is crucial to know what’s safe and unsafe for you, or what you will tolerate and won’t.  This sets the bar for how you show others how to respect you, by first respecting yourself.
4. Take responsibility and be accountable – We all make mistakes and it’s important to stand up and apologize, taking responsibility for your own limiting thought patterns. When we are accountable, we slowly start to erode our fears and own up to our shadow selves – what we tend to hide. This helps us heal the darkness within so we can shine our light. Accountability is the mark of a true adult.
5. Be positive no matter what – It’s not possible to always be happy, but we can choose to see the silver lining – it’s always there. This doesn’t mean we don’t cry or experience emotions like anger, sorrow, and frustration. It does mean we use those emotions in ultimately constructive ways, as we learned from Emotional Wellness pioneer Dane Lee Morton in one of my earlier posts.

If these smart strategies resonate, let me know. Let’s keep the bar high as we evolve into our most authentic selves!

On the road to mastering destiny, I really enjoyed hanging with Ilana of Ilana’s Heart Yoga, and Kevin who participated in the Loloma Tantra Festival with us and brought me many profound affirmations about my life path. Photo Credit: Margaret Cornelius