Integritus Prime

I’ve been savoring Flourish, by Martin Seligman. It’s about positive psychology, which fascinates me and helps me with my self-development and my coaching practice. I love this book because it’s so promising – for example, we can change our lives by focusing on gratitude. However, in this post, I want to focus on what happens after we experience trauma.

In the chapter about the army, I encountered some very useful information about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – which I experienced a couple of years ago. In my case, it the PTSD included initial depression and numbness, followed by hyper vigilance. It was due to a traumatic event involving a loved one. I am managing a lot better, but I was still curious about this topic.

Seligman outlines PTSD as follows, based on Erik Ericson’s work:

1. Exposure to a traumatic event
2. Reliving that event repeatedly
3. Feeling depressed and emotionally numb
4. Experiencing heightened anxiety and vigilance
5. Symptoms last longer than a month
6. Distress and impairment occurs in social, professional and other realms
7. Symptoms were not present before the traumatic event

Now, the most interesting thing about Seligman’s work is the focus on resilience. He offers five elements that contribute to post-traumatic growth:

1. Understanding the response to trauma. The natural response to trauma is “shattered beliefs about the self, others, and the future.” I definitely felt broken after what I experienced, and felt that no one understood my experience.
2. Reducing anxiety – using tools to control and reduce intrusive thoughts and images. I’ve learned a lot of techniques through therapy and they have helped.
3. Constructive self-disclosure, or telling the story of the trauma instead of bottling it up, which can cause more symptoms. I have shared my experience with others in ways that honor my experience and validate my emotions.
4. Creating a trauma narrative – this involves capturing the positives and negatives of the trauma. For instance, my trauma allowed me to appreciate life more, as well as accept my hyper vigilance and the effects of less sleep. I appreciate that I am stronger, and more assertive now than I was before. It also hurt like hell to be invalidated by close family who wanted to sweep things under the rug.
5. Articulate life principles and stances that are more robust to challenge. “These include new ways to be altruistic, accepting growth without survivor guilt, crafting a new identity as a trauma survivor or newly compassionate person…” For me, the experience has brought into stark focus the fact that I am an adult with responsibilities for caregiving that will only increase with time. I have since studied CPR, created a safety plan, and set strong boundaries.

Going through trauma is never easy, but it is inspiring to know that, based on research, adverse experiences can and do make us stronger. Seligman’s research shows that those who have experienced two awful events have more intense strengths and higher wellbeing compared to those who have experienced one awful event. Those who have experienced three awful events are stronger than those who experienced two. Humans are marvelously resilient. It is important to keep this in mind as we deal with hardships. We’ve got this!