Integritus Prime

In the last episode of our Beyond Medicine series on Self-Love for Uncertain Times, we discussed that to truly love yourself means to accept yourself as you are. Right from when we are born, we are labeled in certain ways by our parents and caregivers. This labeling continues in school and throughout our lives. Before we realize it, we accept and internalize these labels, without examining them to see if they are authentic to us. We create an image of ourselves according to what people said about us or wanted us to be. Then, we develop a harsh inner critic that keeps telling us that we are not living up to these external expectations.

So, if we are living a life of dissatisfaction and disharmony, it is time to review our self-love practices and accept ourselves as we are. Easier said than done after years of living according to the labels of others. However, all is not lost and we can start accepting ourselves as we are by following certain practical steps. The following tips will help lead you in this important journey of accepting yourself as you really are:

1. Be aware of your inner voice. Once we consciously realize what our mind is saying, we can change the dialog. If we are very critical of ourselves (calling ourselves ‘not good enough’ or ‘stupid’), we can change this to positive thoughts (such as ‘I’m good enough’ or ‘I am smart and capable’). Affirmations are critical in changing our thoughts, and we would be wise to repeat them daily or even more frequently.
2. Be your own best friend. Whenever you experience a negative situation, have compassion for yourself. Just like you would have for your best friend, be there for yourself. Take time out to relax in nature or meditate. Forgive yourself even if you did something wrong. Take responsibility for it and promise yourself not to repeat the act. Failure is the first step towards learning.
3. Celebrate your achievements. Encourage yourself to keep doing your best. This also helps with your self-esteem and self-worth. Celebrating your successes affirms your love and acceptance of yourself, and allows you to cement the positive milestones on the way to achieving your goals.
4. Accept your ‘flaws’. Sometimes people define your flaws and brand you fat or thin, beautiful or ugly, stupid or smart. Everyone has beauty and talents within them. Find your uniqueness and nurture your talents. Do not fear losing some ‘friends’ who were happy to label you and put you down. A person maybe overweight but a brilliant vocalist or musician. Someone may have a scar but is an intelligent scientist.
5. Be with people who appreciate you. If you are on this path of accepting yourself as you really are, then keep away from people who berate you or label you in a negative way. They are not your friends. Once you accept yourself as you are, your authentic confidence level increases. You deal with negative comments and situations bravely and move on. You realize these situations do not define you.

Share with us your practices on accepting yourself as you are and leading an authentic life.