5 Ways to Approach a Universal Challenge in the Workplace: Toxic People

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I coach leaders around the world, facilitate workshops for teams, teach courses based on my books, and consult on a variety of projects for feminists, climate change resilience initiatives, and much more. Most of the time, whether I’m talking to a client in Fiji, Norway, the United States, or Australia, I find the exact same obstacles being shared with me. My clients are struggling with people they describe as difficult, manipulative, controlling, territorial, insecure, gossiping, ridiculing them in front of team members, and disrespectful of boundaries.

The prevalence of toxic people in the workplace is staggering, according to a recent poll by The Muse:

  • 64% of the 1300 Americans polled said they had experienced a toxic workplace and 44% blamed the leadership team for it
  • Toxic is characterized by co-workers being disrespectful (55%), abusive (34%), non-inclusive (30%), unethical (29%), and cutthroat (21%).
  • Females (68%) have a higher likelihood of reporting toxic experiences compared to male respondents (64%) or nonbinary (59%) respondents.

As a result, people are becoming more and more stressed, but also more “toxic-aware” which is defined as recognizing unhealthy patterns, believing you deserve better, and pursuing change for yourself and even for others.

It’s great to have more awareness and to say no to toxic behavior, but what if you’re the toxic one? Here’s how you can tell:

  • You always talk first, instead of allowing your reports to share in meetings
  • You check in with your reports all the time
  • You over-define tasks, leaving no room for your reports to grow
  • Your behavior with your team and your boss are very different
  • You have the urge to shut others down
  • You change the goalposts (expectations)

If this is you, it’s time to get some help to change your leadership style. A more empathic, trusting, and empowering approach can go a long way in grooming reports to become the leaders of tomorrow. However, many toxic people do not get help, and people around them tend to suffer.

If you are dealing with a toxic person, here are some tips:

  1. Have compassion AND be firm about your boundaries
  2. Keep a paper trail so there’s transparency
  3. Be mindful and avoid being reactive
  4. Focus on what is in your control
  5. Report chronic bad behavior and if it doesn’t improve, leave

You may also want to check out my book on boundaries. Share your tactics for handling a toxic workplace.

Toxic people can damage our mental health if we don’t deal with them appropriately. Photo by Siavash Ghanbari on Unsplash

Leadership, Teams, Wellness , ,