Integritus Prime

This post follows up on my post about Michael Jackson and child abuse. I went ahead and watched Leaving Neverland, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to sit through. The details of how manipulation and abuse took place were simultaneously creepy and abhorrent. I learned a lot about sexual predation which will certainly help me in my coaching practice. Coincidentally, I also watched, in the same week, the Netflix release, She Said, which is about how two reporters exposed Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein as a sexual predator. Michael Jackson was compulsively sexually drawn to young boys, and Harvey Weinstein to young women.

As if this wasn’t enough, I learned about the Nickelodeon saga recently too – multiple instances of child abuse and lewd themes in some of the signature shows from the channel. It left me feeling disgusted and mindful that our work to stop the cycle of abuse and trauma is only just beginning. We have a long way to go.

I will focus my examples on Michael Jackson (MJ), drawing from Leaving Neverland, as I look at how to spot a sexual predator. As these three examples have shown, we can’t be too careful.

There are five basic ways to recognize a sexual predator:

1. They like to be around children or other chosen victims: It’s quite obvious that MJ preferred the company of children, specifically young boys. There are so many photos and videos of him holding hands with his young “friends”, or rather, victims. He openly spoke about sharing his bed with young boys, which is the clearest red flag.
2. They make victims depend on them: MJ spent a lot of money on flights, accommodation, and recreational activities for his young victims and their families. He was a source of support for their career development. In this way, he “groomed” both the families and the victims and built trust. In particular, he initiated a “love” relationship, making the children dependent on him emotionally for support and care and validation, tying that in with sexual acts. He chose victims from modest families, such as Wade Robson and James Safechuck, who were perhaps unlikely to become hugely successful without his help.
3. They use manipulative language: MJ created special nicknames, gave special toys, gifts and played games, framing the relationship as innocent and normal, while also warning that no one would understand the relationship. He told the victims that they could go to jail if discovered, because people would not understand their “love”. He would spend the day playing with his victim as if he was also a child, and having tons of fun, then engage in sexual activity in the evenings, and this became a norm for the victim.
4. They increase physical and sexual contact: MJ gradually pushed the boundaries by initiating physical contact that was more and more intimate. He acted like sexual interactions were normal between him and the young victim. This created acceptance by the victims because this was their first introduction to sexual contact. MJ gave no indication that anything abnormal was happening. Victims didn’t know any better, and took their cue from him.
5. They are jealous and controlling: MJ controlled his victim’s time and space – keeping them with him in his bedroom every night they were with him. When one of the victims got close to someone else, he pursued those people too out of jealousy (for instance, when victim Wade Robson began working with Britney Spears).

Check out this resource for identifying a pedophile as well.

As shocking as this sounds, sexual predators are out there and they are very clever manipulators. For me, personally, I am still reeling from the realization that Michael Jackson, one of the most talented artists on the planet, was a sexual predator. My heart grieves for what he must have faced as a victim when he was a child, and my heart is hurting for his victims. It is a cycle that must stop. Share with me your insights about sexual predators.