Integritus Prime

As a follow-up from last week’s post on positive mindsets, we look at how negative mindsets and self-talk develop and what we can do about them.  Being negative not only has an effect on our mental health but also on our physical health. This is reason enough to find out what our mindsets are and what we can do about them.

Usually we develop our mindsets from experiences, interactions, beliefs and misconceptions. Negative self–talk also develops mainly from negative feedback and adverse experiences. As children we are like sponges – we absorb everything from our parents, caregivers, teachers, relatives and friends. When we live in an environment where there is crticism against who we are, we automatically absorb this into our subconscious mind and start believing that we are not good enough.

Over time, negativity reflects in our mindset, self-talk, and behavior. It shows up as lowered self-esteem, decreased self-confidence and lack of self-worth. Negative  self–talk gets established and keeps us feeling down. Here, we discuss what habits lead to negative self-talk and how we can deal with negative self-talk:

1. Staying in a negative environment or with negative people. The way out is to leave the situation if possible or spend more time with positive people and cherish the difference. Sometimes, in family situations for instance, it is not possible to leave, so we need to use affirmations and spend time bolstering our self-esteem.

• Not addressing the issues that make us feel bad, for example strained relationships. It could be that we tolerate a difficult relationship for fear of losing or offending someone. However, it is better to learn to frame a difficult conversation and  engage in it mindfully than to bottle up the emotions.

• Staying in unhealthy lifestyle habits, especially harmful eating habits despite knowing that it is bad for us. Lack of self-love and self-worth may lead us into eating junk foods and putting on weight or developing a lifestyle disease. We may need support from a good friend, counselor or coach to start loving ourselves so that this negative habit can be resolved and we start eating healthy foods that improve our physical and mental health by elevating our mood.

• Spending too much time alone and overthinking in negative ways. Internalizing critical comments are easy with a negative mindset. We need to remind ourselves that these comments do not reflect who we are. We have to know who we are and believe in who we truly are. Being with people who recognize and support our authenticity is crucial.

• Denying that we have negative self-talk. Most of the time, we are not even aware of the negative self-talk or actually deny that we have it until someone points it out. The first step is to realize that we have a problem then we can go about dealing with it.

• Not asking for help even when we do realize that we have negative self-talk. Our fearful ego, especially the feeling of shame, may prevent us from seeking help. However, asking for help is being strong as it shows that we are willing to be a better version of ourselves. If we do not change our negative mindsets, we run the risk of losing friends and/or loved ones as they become tired of our negative energy.

• Taking refuge in substance abuse instead of asking for help. This maybe the easy and destructive coping mechanism, but if we realize the problem and are willing to deal with it in a positive way then this stage can be avoided or overcome. Illicit drugs do not solve problems but create more health and social crises. Support from therapists and loved ones can help us get out of addictions.

The wisdom of life is to live our purpose and be happy. Negative mindsets and self-talk prevent us from doing this and may isolate us socially.  Given that negativity can linger in our subconscious, we need to be more mindful of our mindsets, self-talk and social environments. Life is for living and enjoying ourselves and this takes work, especially if we’ve absorbed negativity as children.

Are you living a happy and authentic life?  Be your own best friend!

Message us your keeping-positive strategies so we can all learn from each other.