Integritus Prime

We started a new conversation in our Beyond Medicine series recently, called Perilous Parenting. The first of the issues we discussed was the consequences of parents following traditions that are no longer relevant in the 21st century.

Traditions refer to customs, beliefs and practices that are followed for generations. They are followed mostly because they are familiar, comfortable and have been handed down by loved ones over generations. Certain traditions may be embedded into religious or family practices, or cultural beliefs.

Heart-warming traditions such as birthday celebrations with cakes and balloons, or lavish wedding celebrations bring togetherness for families, with opportunities for bonding. These are generally joyous occasions and may cause no harm to anyone.

Other traditions may not be so pleasant and restrict younger people from following their aspirations and dreams. Some of these limiting and harmful traditions include stopping children from questioning adults on certain beliefs and practices, or imposing the tradition of child marriages, genital mutilation, child labor, or forcing children to follow traditional careers.

Times have changed and so have rights and practices. Parents need to be mindful of what traditions they impose on their children. Some traditions are so barbaric and that in some places, there are laws against them. The likes of genital mutilation and abusing brides due to lack of dowry or even asking for dowry are now illegal in some places.

The effects of enforcing certain harmful traditions on children can be disastrous. Apart from traumatizing children for life, they may lead to children leaving home for good, ending up in abusive relationships, having low self-worth and self-esteem, practicing unsafe health behaviors such as unprotected sex, taking alcohol or illegal drugs.

Loving, caring and responsible parents stay in the present and take note of their children’s needs and desires. It is up to the parents to support their offspring towards their goals and let them be what they want to be in life. This is generally difficult as some parents feel they know better than their children – a toxic patriarchal way of thinking. However, times have changed and children have access to a lot more information and choices in what they want to do or be. So, guiding them toward the best sources of information and being there for them will help create the nurturing environment they need to be their best.

Share with us what your thoughts are about certain traditions that you find difficult to follow.

This blog is written by wellness advisor, Dr. Margaret Cornelius.