Integritus Prime

I define success as joy and self-actualization. I’ve been working with clients who face myriad barriers to a successful life. These obstacles include trauma, anxiety, anger, resentment, disappointment, and usually at the root of it all: fear. Fear of failing, not being good enough, being attacked, of not knowing what’s next, not having money, and the list goes on and on.

In my coaching work, I focus on strategies for personal and professional transformation in a holistic way, addressing cognitive, physical, emotional, and spiritual levers for changing habits. My typical recommendations include some combination of meditation techniques, affirmations, dietary and exercise improvements, and various science-based proprietary exercises that I’ve developed for transforming personal and career goals into actionable and achievable steps.

What I’ve noticed this year in terms of patterns across clients that are successful and those that fail to implement my advice is a single factor: being present in the current moment. This practice of mindfulness allows successful clients to remain detached from circumstances and their own habitual responses, and plan their responses, allowing them to discern and use the opportunities presented to them by what they might initially see as challenges. This spaciousness is only attainable through a consistent meditation practice.

The clients that fail to move forward in their lives professionally and personally are the ones who remain stuck or in a reactive and victim state because they are:

• reliving past traumas or worrying that the past will repeat itself
• projecting new fears into the future
• sabotaging their own progress due to self-loathing or shame
• mentally aware of what is needed but unable to execute the changes

At the root of these anxiety-based coping mechanisms is an unwillingness to choose differently, although many would not admit to it. When we feel like victims, we don’t acknowledge that we are choosing certain behaviors over others. Sometimes, it’s easier to remain stuck because it’s so familiar. The good news is we always have the power to choose differently.

Being able to step back and look at fear or anxiety requires a steady meditation practice. This is because meditation cultivates the ability to simply observe the mind’s thought patterns. Once this is achieved, we realize we are not our thoughts. Also, we see that our thoughts create our reality. Now, we can use affirmations to replace negative thought patterns, and create a different, more positive reality.

In simplest terms, being mindful allows us to observe our undesirable behavior, whether it’s emotional eating or self-sabotage, and unhook ourselves from these destructive habits. Without meditation, it becomes very difficult to break harmful patterns; we may succeed for a little while, then regress.

Through my talk show, Mornings with Marilyn, I often provide nuggets of insight on how to be happier and more fulfilled. I’ve also written quite extensively about mindfulness practices through this blog. However, to really change your life, you need a tailored, strategic approach. If you’re struggling with your personal life and career prospects, ready to face your fears, and resonate with what I’m saying, let’s talk.