Integritus Prime

Recently, I wrote about a heart-breaking experience of racism while I was on a personal retreat at a beautiful 4-star resort. It was a first-hand education in microaggressions. The last three days I was at another 4-star resort, facilitating a resilience retreat for a team of pioneers. I was nervous going into it, given my previous experience, and the fact that I had already had a racist experience at this resort many years ago. What awaited me was beyond what I could have hoped for. Here’s my story.

As with my personal retreat, I emailed the logistics person at this resort with my dietary preferences. I am vegan and gluten-free for many reasons, which include climate change, animal cruelty, my wellness, and allergies. She responded saying she would speak to the chef. She then wrote again, asking if she could call me. I said yes. We spoke by phone and she read to me a special menu of dishes created just for me, meeting all my needs. I asked questions to be sure, and she answered them all. I was relieved.

A couple of days later, I set off with the team to the resort. Our reception was friendly. The man who checked me in asked if I wanted to join their loyalty program. I answered frankly, “I actually had a bad experience here years ago so I’d like to see how it goes before I commit to a loyalty program.” He understood and I went off to my room.

I had a stunning view of the pool and ocean, but there was little time to admire it as I needed to get to lunch and then begin facilitating.

When I got to the resort restaurant I introduced myself to the chef to thank him in advance for my special menu. He said it was no problem at all and that I had only a few things I could not eat. This was the first time anyone had ever said that to me in this kind of situation, and it immediately put me at ease. We discussed dinner and he asked if I was open to Indian food. With a resounding yes, I happily sat down with the team for lunch.

Everyone on the team was struck by the three-course lunch. It was elegantly presented, delicious, and satisfying. My meal was the opposite of what I usually eat at resorts: low on refined carbs, lots of fresh vegetables, salads, low oil, low salt, lots of fresh fruit, and no allergens. I was impressed.

When I left the restaurant, the head chef followed me. I turned to see him behind me and stopped to see what he wanted. He asked me what I wanted for breakfast. I suggested grilled tomato, sautéed spinach and mushrooms, and some potatoes. He agreed to this, and then offered to make me gluten-free bread. Excited, I went off to open the retreat officially for the team.

The next day rolled around and I was presented with some beautiful pastries, the breakfast I had asked for, plus sweet potato cakes, and fresh fruit. I asked for peppermint tea and enjoyed it (the next morning, the peppermint tea was served to me without me even asking). I ate the fruit and cooked breakfast, and asked for the gorgeous pastries to be packed so I could eat them during our tea breaks. Also, they looked so perfect, I wasn’t sure how to even begin eating them.

As I wrapped up the morning session, two sous chefs walked into the room. The first asked me where the pastries were. I motioned to the container on the shelf behind me. He asked if he could take them away. I said, “Is there something in them?”

“Yes,” he replied. It was quinoa, which is one of my allergens. He looked me in the eyes and despite not being able to read his expression completely due to his mask, I could see his concern. I reassured him, saying, “Well, lucky I didn’t eat any yet, I had so much food at breakfast that I had these packed. You saved me!”

His relief was clear. He apologized profusely, took the container of pastries, and left, saying he would send me something else. Soon, a beautiful serving bowl of sago pudding and fresh fruit was served to me.

When I went to lunch, I was served a beautiful ratatouille salad, Singapore noodles, and a Vudi Vakasoso (plantain in coconut cream) for dessert. Every single meal was made with care and precision. I didn’t have a single digestive issue or skin breakout. I was productive and at the top of my game with facilitation; I even wrote a first draft of my report before we left the resort. Food, after all, is linked to our mood and productivity. 

The service was also impeccable. We felt cared for, and refreshed. We rested well, and our work together felt like play. We felt nurtured. As a result, we achieved outcomes beyond our expectations.

This was the best experience by far at a resort for as long as I can remember, in my precious homeland, Fiji, but it’s also memorable when compared to all the retreats I’ve led or co-led around the world. 

Of course, it could be that I was treated so well because the resort was relatively empty (we were there on weekdays), the chef was clearly more qualified than the one at the previous resort, and because I went with a group. However, everyone on the team agreed that the service and food were outstanding for a 4-star resort. The rooms were gorgeous (and no bugs except some friendly moths). The chefs and staff comprised three of the many ethnicities present in Fiji: Chinese, iTaukei, and Indian. I felt pampered, heard, and safe to be myself and to enjoy healthy and gourmet food. I felt I belonged.

What a healing experience after my recent nightmare! I am so grateful to every staff member at this resort for their attentiveness and care. I have returned home feeling refreshed and rewarded by not only a successful retreat with commendable outcomes, but a preserved healthy mind and body, plus a grateful heart.

I learned that it’s not too much to expect a vegan and gluten-free meal to be healthy and to meet my needs. In fact, such meals can be creative and beautiful too, as my photos clearly show. And, two 4-star resorts can be shockingly different. That difference is in the human touch: empathy. I am learning that connecting with someone and caring enough to help them feel they are safe, and they belong, is not only what I prioritize as a coach and facilitator; it is what we are all wired for. That human touch is the essence of humanity, and of hospitality.